Hand Solo

When my friends ask why I have a dozen large mirrors in my bedroom, I don't tell them it's because I host orgy's in which only I attend. I usually make up some lie like the Antique Road Show is coming into town.

Back to Dert

With sweat dripping from my forehead and onto my already soaked hand, I wonder " Are all my roommates fast asleep?". As I reassure my sulking, shameful self that they are most likely long since visited by the sand man, I promptly greet myself with a warm, familiar "hello" from my favorite smut ridden youtube parody. Within minutes, well seconds, of finding a worthwhile whore performing demeaning acts of self deprecating stardom, I find my all too expected stiffy to be forming a classic partnership with my own right hand. While a decent percentage of my blood is rushing to my peninsula of meat, I'm wondering "Really? Already?", but the obvious lack of self discipline is rearing its ugly head as I wipe up my self loathing with a dirty old sock. Until next time, I hate myself...

My friends favorite vert skaters

Dylan Toby - Tony Hawk
Freebs - Shaun White
Cyrus - Lincoln Ueda
Robbie - Darren Naverette
Dan Lintamen - Mike Crum
Bryn - Max Shaaf
Fabian - Bob Burnquist